Who Is Bert Hellinger

Bert Hellinger (1925–2019) was a German psychotherapist, author, and former Catholic priest and missionary who developed Family Constellations (Familienaufstellung), one of the most widely practiced—and most controversial—forms of systemic therapy to emerge in the late twentieth century. Hellinger spent sixteen years as a missionary priest among the Zulu in South Africa, where he was deeply influenced by their understanding of ancestral connection, communal ritual, and the transgenerational transmission of trauma. After leaving the priesthood, he trained in psychoanalysis, primal therapy, transactional analysis, and Gestalt therapy before developing his own approach in the 1980s and 1990s.

Family Constellations is a group process in which a client selects representatives from among workshop participants to stand in for family members. These representatives are arranged spatially and then report what they feel in their positions—often describing emotions, physical sensations, or relational dynamics that correspond to facts about the client's family system that the representatives could not have known. Through guided repositioning, acknowledgment of excluded family members, and the speaking of "healing sentences," the constellation seeks to restore order and flow within the family system. Hellinger identified what he called the "Orders of Love"—systemic principles governing belonging, hierarchy, and balance in family systems—and argued that violations of these orders (such as the exclusion of a family member, the reversal of parent-child roles, or unacknowledged traumas) create entanglements that can manifest as psychological symptoms, relationship difficulties, or physical illness across generations. His work has attracted millions of practitioners worldwide and influenced fields from psychotherapy to organizational consulting, but it has also drawn serious criticism for Hellinger's authoritarian facilitation style, some of his personal political statements, and the theoretical opacity of the "knowing field" mechanism by which representatives appear to access family information.

Core Concepts

1. The "Orders of Love": systemic laws governing family systems
   • Hellinger proposed that family systems are governed by deep structural principles: everyone who belongs to the system has an equal right to belong; there is a natural hierarchy based on order of arrival (parents before children, first-born before later-born); and there must be a balance of giving and receiving between members. When these orders are violated—through exclusion, role reversal, or unacknowledged loss—the system generates compensatory dynamics that can persist for generations. (Wikipedia)
2. Transgenerational entanglement
   • Hellinger's central clinical observation is that individuals often unconsciously carry the unfinished emotional business of earlier family members—identifying with excluded relatives, repeating patterns of loss or failure, or bearing guilt or grief that properly belongs to a previous generation. Constellation work aims to make these invisible loyalties visible and to return burdens to their proper owners within the family system.
3. The "knowing field": representative perception
   • The most mysterious and contested aspect of Constellation work is the phenomenon of representative perception: people standing in for family members they have never met consistently report emotions, impulses, and physical sensations that correspond to real dynamics in the client's family. Hellinger did not offer a definitive explanation for this phenomenon but treated it as empirically observable. Theories range from morphic resonance (Rupert Sheldrake) to mirror neuron networks to collective unconscious dynamics, but none has been definitively established.
4. Inclusion and acknowledgment as the primary healing movements
   • The therapeutic action in Constellation work typically involves two movements: including what has been excluded (acknowledging a forgotten ancestor, a miscarriage, an estranged family member) and restoring proper relational order (allowing parents to be parents, releasing children from carrying adult burdens). The healing is understood to occur at the systemic level—when the system is "in order," its members are freed to live their own lives rather than unconsciously serving the system's unresolved dynamics.

Essential Writings

• Love's Hidden Symmetry: What Makes Love Work in Relationships (with Gunthard Weber and Hunter Beaumont)
  • The most accessible introduction to Hellinger's work: it presents the Orders of Love, the basic principles of Constellation work, and numerous case examples in a readable format. Co-written with collaborators who help translate Hellinger's sometimes enigmatic style into clear prose.
  • Best use: the essential starting point—read this to understand what Constellations are, what they claim, and how they work in practice.
• Acknowledging What Is: Conversations with Bert Hellinger
  • A series of transcribed conversations and workshop demonstrations that capture Hellinger's teaching style, philosophical framework, and the phenomenology of Constellation work in action. It provides a direct encounter with Hellinger's thinking—including its provocative edges.
  • Best use: for readers who want to hear Hellinger's voice and approach directly, including the parts that generate controversy.
• It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Mark Wolynn)
  • While not by Hellinger, this is the most widely read contemporary book on transgenerational trauma that draws heavily on Constellation principles. Wolynn integrates Hellinger's systemic insights with neuroscience, epigenetics, and practical therapeutic exercises.
  • Best use: the best bridge between Hellinger's work and mainstream psychology—accessible, practical, and grounded in contemporary science.

Image Attribution

“Bert Hellinger.jpg” by Lennert B, via Wikimedia Commons, licensed CC BY-SA 3.0. Link: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ABert_Hellinger.jpg